Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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