ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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