Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
