Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
