I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
