i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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