I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
