What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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