Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
