She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
