good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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