You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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