Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
