I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We left an ass print on the piano.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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