Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
