The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
