i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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