you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
