the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
