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I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize