put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
