Just mADE A PArabola og urine
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
