He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
