It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
