her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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