thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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