Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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