its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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