I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
