I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize