addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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