Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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