Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize