what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
