So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
