You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.