the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
