I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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