The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
