dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
