capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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