I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
