but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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