yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
