If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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