Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize