Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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