after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
