No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
