Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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