sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
