You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You can't motorboat a personality
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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