Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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