one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
