I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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