At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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