I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So many bounce houses so little time
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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