would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
