I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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